Court Watch #112: You’re About To Lose $577 Billion Dollars

Welcome to Court Watch #112. There’s been a lot of talk in Washington about efforts to reduce the federal government’s waste, fraud, and abuse. An amazing number of blue check mark users on X just discovered usaspending.gov shortly after becoming FAA and tariff experts last week. 

With a caveat about proper context being key, we generally welcome the Internet’s newfound love of government records and transparency. Perhaps it may extend to the courts at some point, which have been racking in hundreds of millions of dollars in fees from its citizenry for their own public records. But all the online discussions on funding cuts seemed to have missed a U.S. Senate hearing this week that could determine the future of potentially 577 billion taxpayer dollars. 

We’ll get to fake sports jerseys, Wild N’ Out, Blake Lively, amputated fingers, terminally online lawsuits, and the longest docket we’ve ever seen. This week’s roundup includes those topics and so many other things, but first let’s talk about a man from Malden, Massachusetts and his dislike of an (alleged) jalopy.

Markup Mayhem

The U.S. Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship held a hearing on Wednesday to vote on sending S. 68, the Complete COVID Collection Act, to the full Senate for a floor vote. The bill would, among other things, extend the Special Inspector General for Pandemic Recovery (SIGPR) office another five years. The SIGPR was created by the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act in 2020 to investigate potential misuse of funds issued by the Department of the Treasury.

By statute, SIGPR is set to shut down in a little over a month from now. As we’ve reported previously, SIGPR has punched above its weight since its founding. They have recovered more than 60 million dollars in COVID fraud (with another 121.5 million pending in court-order restitution), far exceeding the costs to run the office. In the simplest terms, the taxpayers make money every day SIGPR is open, and those who have allegedly secured scam COVID loans that would have flown under the radar are being prosecuted. 

After our reporting in July, a bipartisan group of senators introduced legislation to extend SIGPR but it never held a vote on its passage. Stuck between petty congressional jurisdiction committee fights and larger policy questions about which Inspector General office should take point on COVID fraud, SIGPR fell through the cracks. As congressional staffers told Court Watch previously, SIGPR was  “too small [a] ball” of a legislative priority to spend political capital on but [they] lament[ed] the inaction as a “real missed opportunity” to save taxpayer money.” 

Democrats, led by Ranking Member Ed Markey, had concerns about the passage of S. 68. Markey advocated for the focus of Congress to be on addressing the recent firings of Inspector Generals and moving the responsibility of investigating COVID fraud fully to the Small Business Inspector General. In the hearing, Markey stated, “The special inspector general for pandemic recovery has not shown that it has maximized the funding that it has been given. Just look at their return on investment. Every dollar appropriated to the special inspector general for pandemic recovery was only recovered three dollars. Meanwhile, for every dollar appropriated to the SBA office of inspector general he was able to recover fifty dollars.”

Using a comparison to driving cars, Markey noted, “So, if you had to go across town, would you want a jalopy that gets three miles to a gallon or a modern vehicle that gets you fifty miles to a gallon?”

Having driven a jalopy –  a dark blue 1995 Ford Taurus to be exact – we tend to think any car — be it a Special Inspector General for Pandemic Recovery or a SBA Inspector General – is better than waiting for a perfect car that may or may not ever get purchased/unfired  Also, it could be the lived-through-the-Tronc era of journalism in us, but we generally don’t trust anyone with a nice car. (editor’s note: We probably took that analogy too far in its natural confusing end.)

About halfway through the markup, the hearing went quite sideways with confusion over which amendments were voted on and if any other amendments to the bills could be introduced. Senator Cantwell, always the multitasker, scrolled her phone for first half of the hearing, occasionally glancing up to vote but later locked in to express her displeasure with the committee process. While Senator Jeanne Shaheen was understandably aghast that a relatively innocuous amendment didn’t garner bipartisan support. It all had a flavor of School House Rocks if it was a very special episode where everyone involved wasn’t quite sure what the actual words to the song were. 

In a press release following the hearing, Markey raised issues with the procedural processes and his concern about a partisan approach for Wednesday’s markup. Requests for comments to several senators on the committee, including Senator Markey, about whether they would support an clean extension to SIGPR, given that the longer-term issue of a SBA Inspector General does not appear to likely be solved before SIGPR’s pending dissolution on March 27th, were not returned.

The chair of the Small Business Committee, Senator Joni Ernst, told Court Watch, “At $36 trillion in debt, we cannot afford to leave $200 billion sitting on the table, especially in the hands of fraudsters. We are marshaling all the resources necessary to recoup these funds and hold these criminals accountable. Con artists took advantage of small businesses’ pain. They will not get away with it.”

According to a government official familiar with the office, SIGPR’s investigations have thus far resulted in 66 federal indictments, 2 criminal complaints, 49 arrests, and 29 guilty pleas. 

A current Assistant U.S. Attorney interviewed for this story – who was granted anonymity given the Justice Department’s arcane policies on talking directly to the press about ongoing prosecutions even in generalities – stated it clearly, “There’s no other office in the U.S. Government that could do these types of cases. They would have never been worked without these guys.”

For SIGPR’s part, its Inspector General, Brian Miller, told Court Watch, “SIGPR is staffed with seasoned professionals who are experts in detecting pandemic fraud, waste and abuse. A return of 300% of SIGPR’s budget back to the taxpayer is a remarkable accomplishment, and we want to continue that great work alongside our colleagues at the SBA Office of Inspector General. SIGPR has identified and had individuals prosecuted who defrauded multiple programs when bilking COVID tax dollars. The American people deserve all the crime-fighting they can get.”

In July, when we first reported about SIGPR’s pending closure, it had a staff of 32, including 11 special agents. Since then, with the uncertainty in its future, the staff has dwindled to a mere 20 as staffers depart for more stable employment pastures. 

Still, SIGPR has investigations ongoing targeting $577 million in potential fraud. Those investigations will most likely end when the office does in March barring quick congressional action. And with its closure, so goes more than half a billion dollars of taxpayer dollars. 

But, by all means, keep screenshotting usaspending.gov for engagement farm clicks, Internet. It's important to do performative acts to address the national debt while the actual tangible ones fall through the cracks because they require a fleeting novelty of our times – political compromise and deliberative congressional processes. 

Now onto the rest of the dockets. 

The Docket Roundup

• How does a federal court summons get to OPM in a lawsuit involving President Trump’s Executive Orders? We were curious so we used the tracking number in the summons filing. It was mailed in Maryland, sent to Tennessee, then Virginia, and ultimately to DC. The summons to the Attorney General took the same route. FedEx may want to start its own DOGE. 

• Two men from Russia and Uzbekistan were charged with conspiracy to file false voter registration applications in Florida. Prosecutors say the pair mailed in 132 fraudulent registration applications under different names but with identical typos, birthdays, and mailing addresses.

• A researcher at the University of South Carolina was arrested after a purported underage sex sting. Prosecutors say he is an Iranian citizen and that the University did not plan to renew his contract following the arrest. A judge ordered him to be detained before trial.

• We’re in a new beehiiv promo about our membership in the Media Collective. Best part is it’s a screenshot from our post telling you how to get our emails. 

• A Massachusetts man living in Florida who allegedly had a passion for ISIS, a hatred of children, and a fondness of booze, was charged for purportedly threatening a number of elected officials, including Senator Elizabeth Warren.

• Jewish Voices for Peace were sued for blocking a man from traveling to work.

• If you bought a sports jersey in Pennsylvania, you may want to check its authenticity. 

• A student is suing a university because she’s in her 17th year of her PhD. This hit a bit too close to home for us. 

• DOJ dropped its case against Project Veritas staffers. But the search warrant was unsealed.

• Book publishers are mad at Idaho. 

• White supremacist Atomwaffen leader was found guilty this week. For more background on the group, check out this NCITE research product. 

• If you ever wanted to ironically purchase a Proud Boys hoodie but didn’t want to feel bad about it, now’s the time.

• Thankfully, Paramount is going after Nick Cannon’s new show.  

• A plastic surgeon for the reality show, Botched, was sued for being hacked.

• Prosecutors and a man from Dallas, Texas, who allegedly left threatening voicemails at a New Jersey-based Sikh civil rights organization filed paperwork for a plea agreement.

• This is Awkward. 

• Twenty years of litigation, more than 9,500 docket entries, at some point can we wrap this up? Or at least refund us the 100 dollars for pulling the docket just for a mildly witty bullet in a newsletter roundup. 

• A TV news anchor in Pennsylvania says she was paid less than her male counterparts.

• The intro of this workplace discrimination suit filed in New York doesn’t mince words.

• “Results of this search included a Ziploc bag of psilocybin mushrooms, numerous packets of THC gummies, several THC vape cartridges, a hatchet, a set of wooden nunchucks, a 22-inch machete, and a 22-inch katana sword.” The complaint for a threat case out of Delaware gets even wilder from there. (Editor’s note: Sensitive content warning on the website reportedly tied to the defendant).

• A couple from Phoenix pled guilty to submitting more than $1.2 billion in false health care claims. Prosecutors said they received $614,990,420 and that each agreed to pay a roughly similar amount in restitution. 

• Blake Lively was sued in Texas. 

• Stealing AI so we assume that China can get better at censoring that picture of a man standing in front of a tank.

• Taking bribes from 45 prisoners is next-level bribery.

• Microsoft is being accused of ripping off online influencers. 

• Authorities have taken down a purported dog fighting ring. Warning, don’t look at the filing pictures if you still want to believe in the goodness of people. 

• If you’re terminally online, boy, do we have a lawsuit for you. And if that wasn’t enough for you, try this one too. 

• A nonprofit in Virginia says it won’t be able to help an 86-year-old woman get to her kidney dialysis appointment because of the OMB freeze.

• The family of a man who fatally overdosed on cocaine while incarcerated in a Richmond, VA jail is suing the city’s sheriff with claims she failed to provide humane and safe conditions for inmates.

• Don’t do this. 

• A former vice president at the energy drink company Celsius who was charged last week with profiting off of the company’s inside information pleaded guilty this week.

• A bunch of student-athletes are going after the NCAA. 

• The Justice Department announced a new task force on antisemitic harassment at schools and college campuses. The task force includes the Department of Education, Department of Health and Human Services, and others yet to be announced.

• Here’s an eighty-five-page pro se suit accusing the government of covering up Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes, and here’s the judge’s order for dismissal.

• In what might be a defense attorney’s worst nightmare, prosecutors are fighting to partially withhold a defendant’s access to discovery in jail after she allegedly tried to pay people to kill one of her codefendants. Prosecutors say the whole plot was recorded on jail phones.

• A car crash, multiple amputated fingers, a severe leg injury, and a medevac helicopter are all part of a story that uncovered 8 kilos of coke. 

• “Finally, please issue a refund for my filing costs for this petition”, asks a man in Pennsylvania who wants President Trump and Vice President Vance removed from office. It’s actually the third such pro-se lawsuit with this language we’ve seen this week, so there must be a clickbait website that is giving bad legal filing advice to angry liberals.

• A former senior adviser for the Federal Reserve Board of Governors was arrested for allegedly conspiring to steal trade secrets for China. This feels like a good rule of thumb. 

• A singer is suing LA music executive Jared Gutstadt for purported sexual assault and harassment.

• A lawsuit filed on behalf of a man who bought the meme coins “the First Convicted Raccoon Token, the FWOG Token, and the GRIFFAIN Token” says that the crypto company “Pump.Fun” operates as “a ​​novel evolution in Ponzi and pump and dump schemes.” Caveat emptor.

• An ATF agent found the perfect screenshot for probable cause on page 11.

• The father of a woman who passed away while serving in the Navy accused the DOD of failing to address his claim that she died due to gross medical negligence while aboard the USS Ronald Reagan.

• An Oregon man who was arrested after reportedly attacking his roommates for building a small fire in their backyard was charged again by the FBI for allegedly posting violent antisemitic threats online.

• A man from Wisconsin was indicted for allegedly selling and smuggling almost four hundred thousand dollars in guns to Saudi Arabia.

• Forty-five million dollars, ten years of construction, and a glorious gold-painted chariot did not save this six-story food court in New Jersey from its sad but probably foreseeable fate.

• The man who walked into a synagogue in New York with a shotgun on the first night of Hanukkah and fired two rounds in the air before trying to leave with an Israeli flag pled guilty. 

Thanks for reading. And a welcome to all our new subscribers. We picked up a couple hundred followers this week once the Associated Press noted our existence. <Legacy media handshake emoji new media> Then added another 2,000 (!) when a Mark Cuban blue sky’d (?) our litigation tracker involving the Trump Administration. For the new subscribers, our opening lede took sixteen emails, seven calls, and required the pulling of records in five court cases. We believe strongly that while we will sleep when we’re dead, well researched journalism is most certainly not dead. Thanks for joining us this week. If you liked what you read, you may want to consider a paid subscription – thanks to those of you that already pledged your support. We’ll see you next week.

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